Thursday, February 25, 2010

Parents write the darnedest things

Parents write the darnedest things

February 25, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I don't know what year this was published, or even what paper, but I came across this article I'd saved out of a newspaper. The story is from Leesville, Louisiana.

"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," one parent wrote. "Please execute him."

That death sentence was inadvertently recommended in a note which a parent who was in a hurry or possessed an uncertain vocabulary wrote to excuse a child's absence from school in Vernon Parish.

Duplicated copies of some of the parish's more astonishing excuse notes were given out at a School Board meeting this month.

"Some of them were obviously made up by students," Richard Carter, assistant principal of Leesville High School, said Wednesday. But most, he said, were probably legitimate excuses written by parents in the rural northwest Louisiana parish.

In these samples, names were replaced with either Fred or Mary to protect innocent and guilty alike.

One parent appeared to have taken drastic action: "Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot."

Another had a more comprehensive request: "Please excuse Fred for being. It was his father's fault."

"Please ackuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33," wrote a parent who lives by an unusual calendar.

"Mary was absent from school yesterday as she was having a gangover," wrote one who apparently expected the school to be tolerant of social follies.

"Mary could not come to school today because she was bother by very close veins," wrote one parent.

"Fred has an acre in his side," said another.

And in an extreme case of people losing things, "Please excuse Fred from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip."

In a confusion of office work and medical terms, one parent wrote: "Please excuse Mary from Jim yesterday. She is administrating."

And several had a racier tone:

"Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not breed well."

"Please excuse Mary. She has been sick and under the doctor."

"Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps."

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