Friday, September 6, 2013

Meant To Be

I came to a blog today via Pinterest, because it was about living in an RV full-time. We've talked about doing that ourselves, so I'm always interested in reading how others manage to live with less space and less stuff. The blog writer mentioned in a couple of the posts that they had adopted a baby. I told myself, “don't click on the link, don't read it, it will only get you upset.” Do I listen to my own advice? Not nearly often enough, it would seem. I did walk away for a while, but returned and read their adoption story.

It was pretty much what I expected, overall. They acquired a newborn through the foster care system and cared for him for several months. The baby had a lot of health issues, and they tackled them all, going to many doctors and discussing everything with the social workers as it happened. Before the baby was a year old he was “ready” to be put up for adoption. Long story short, they got him.

The blogger didn't tell the story behind the story: why was the baby taken from his parents? Perhaps she didn't know, or didn't feel it was relevant to her story. I would venture to guess that whatever she and her husband were told by the social worker was not the truth, or at least not the whole truth. Why would I think that? Because I know first-hand that social workers in the state “child protection system” LIE. ALL THE TIME. 

The worst part were all the comments. All happy gushy sentiment that were both painful (to me) and ignorant. “Oh, I'm so happy for you! It's so obvious you were meant to be his parents!” Almost all were like that. 

Excuse me, but, “you were meant to be his parents”...Seriously? In what universe do you live?? The only people MEANT TO BE a child's parents are the PEOPLE WHO GAVE HIM LIFE! The woman who carried that baby in her womb, who labored to give birth, SHE is the one who was meant to be his mother! The man whose seed fertilized that egg and gave it life, who passed on his genes, HE is the one meant to be his father!

I previously wrote a bit about myLittle Guy. Because he was taken away from me and eventually adopted by a foster family, does that mean that I wasn't “meant to be” his mother? His older brother was also adopted, not by strangers but his grandparents. Does the fact that his birth certificate now shows their names as his parents make it true? Does that mean that he was never “meant” to be raised by his true parents? NO.

Yes, there are children who are unwanted, unloved, abused, and neglected. But it is far more rare than the state (actually federal) foster care system would like you to believe. My children were very much wanted, loved unconditionally, treasured for the gifts they were, well-provided-for and even somewhat spoiled. This is far more often the case than the foster care system would like you to believe.

Does this mean that I think adoptive parents can't love or raise a child? No. It does mean they were not MEANT to do it. And anyone who says otherwise is intentionally delusional. Just because you were chosen by some social worker panel and judge to get your name on a child's birth certificate does not make the whole scenario “meant to be.” It isn't a “God thing”, because God's design and intention is for children to be raised, trained, and taught by their REAL parents.

Nowhere in the Bible is there any suggestion that anyone else has the right to come between parents and their children. They alone are given the authority and responsibility for their child. If the parents want to give up their rights, then it's good that someone else is willing to step up and do the job, but I still believe that the parents will someday answer to God for that choice. However, if the parents did not want to give up their rights to their child, and instead it was stolen from them, then I believe that anyone who played a part in depriving that child of its parents will answer to God for their choice as well.

Adoption can be a wonderful thing, under the right circumstances. But the foster “care” system isn't it. Besides being unconstitutional it is immoral and illegal: it is kidnapping of a child, plain and simple.

In my opinion a child is ALWAYS better off with their parents.

I was meant to be a mother. My children were meant to live with me and their father. End of story.
My precious child, who was kidnapped, stolen from me, July 16, 2008.

My other precious son, Adam, who was stolen from me January 23, 2007, and then permanently in 2010.

Seven of my beautiful children, 2009.