Monday, June 28, 2010

Cave of Adullam

Cave of Adullam

July 28, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Song by Sara Groves, inspired by the story of David in I and II Samuel

Speak to me, speak to me in my cave of Adullam.
Reach to me, reach to me. No one cares for my soul.
I thought I saw your kingdom, but it's not going to happen like I thought it would happen.

Remind me, remind me of the vision you gave me.
Remind me, remind me what anointing oil is for.
I need to know you're near me. I need to know you are holding me just as closely .

Chorus: as the day you took my life and gave me a vision,
as the day you poured the oil and gave me a dream.
I can't believe this is happening.
How does a shepherd become a king?
I'm listening to Sara Groves music right now. Hers was the music I listened to over and over and over again when I left my first husband. Different songs speak to me at different times. This one is now. I am strong in the Lord, but the tears are still here.

I KNOW I had a vision of what God wanted for my life, and I was living it, and it was wonderful. I know the enemy loves to destroy the good things of God. Where I am today is a combination of the choices of others and my reactions/choices to them. I know there's never 100% blame on someone else.

Does God's Vision for us change just because we screw up and use our free will to make stupid choices? I know it doesn't change because Satan has some victories. But can things ever mess up so badly that there's no redemption, no returning to the promises?

My hope is in eternity. The goal of life is to prepare us for the afterlife. I have to keep my eye on the prize.

Php 3:7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
Php 3:9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
Php 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
Php 3:11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
Php 3:12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Php 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
Php 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Okay, another song came on that fits: The One Thing I Know

And the clouds just parted on a corner of my life
And I can see for miles
And the things I was stuck on
Things I thought would never change
They just broke open wide

This is the one thing I know
You said you won’t let me go
You said you won’t let me go

And the veil just lifted
I can finally understand
The way you work in me
But even if I didn’t
You are still a sovereign God
Who has a plan for me

It ‘s good to know you work with hurt and broken souls
And that you’ll take a soul like mine

And it feels like I've been waking up
Only to fight with the same old stuff
I was caught in the habits of a lifetime
Giving up I could never find the right time
All the indefensible things I would defend
All the million ways that my heart was bent
Then the clouds just parted

Oh, so many of her songs are good! I think I'll be listening to them a lot...


Jeremiah tell me about the fire
That burns up in your bones
I want to know
I want to know more now

The burning of ambition and desire
It never could come close
To that fire
To that fire

Verse 1:
I was looking to myself
And I forgot the power of God
I was standing with a sparkler in my hand

While I stood so proud and profound
You went and burned the whole place down
Now that’s a fire

Verse 2:
I was caught up in this vice
And it’s power to entice
I was dwelling on my hopelessness and doubt

With the slightest invitation
You came with total detonation
Now that’s a fire

I was warming my hands by this little light of mine
but now I know it’s time
time to come in from the cold
Fight fire with fire, come fan the flame
come stir up these coals in my soul, in my soul
till it burns out of control