My Life According to Facebook

Since it has been so long since I wrote anything, I will share a brief summary of the year 2010 according to (some of ) my status updates on Facebook.

My Children Belong With Me

These are the emails I wrote to my parents, Raymond and Barbara Faulk, concerning my children that they are keeping from me, as well as the replies I have received.

January 21, 2014

I have to put this in writing because I would never be able to say everything on the phone.

God gave me nine beautiful children, and with that gave me the right and responsibility to care for and raise them. I have never shirked my responsibilities, nor have I wanted to.

Eight of my blessings were kidnapped from me, and the ninth nearly stolen as well.

Children will adapt to all sorts of situations in order to survive (physically and emotionally).  They might seem happy, but it doesn't mean they are.  Or they might really be happy, but it doesn't mean they wouldn't be if they were where they should be.  And is happiness the point anyway?

Children need to be with their parents, and parents need to have their children.  It's the way God planned it, so it is best and right.  Children also need their siblings, ALL of them, together with their parents.  They suffer in who knows how many ways by not living with each other as a proper family.  To be deprived of their own family is to be abused and traumatized.

You (Daddy) had your family torn apart when you were just a child.  You didn't get to see or live with your parents or your brothers and sisters after that.  Don't you think that was traumatizing to you?  To all of you?  So you ended up in a "good" home, you say, and you think you turned out just fine.  But did you?  Do you realize that the only stories you ever told us from growing up were when you were with your real family?  The only things I know about your life after you were adopted were that your adoptive dad was nice and he took you fishing and died when you were in college, and that your adoptive mom never wanted you and stole your money from your bank account and was a bit crazy.  Not ideal, not the way God intended.  So why are you intentionally and willfully creating "orphans" of your grandchildren??  Your actions, and inactions, directly contributed to four (five) of your own grandchildren being permanently removed from their rightful families by adoption.

I want my children home with me, and I always have.  They are my responsibility, not yours.  It is my right and my privilege to raise them, teach them, care for them to the best of my ability, with God's help.  Their safety is MY concern, and always has been.  If you are concerned, then your role is to pray and ask if there is any help you can offer. Your "concerns" do not override my God-given rights to parent my children.

You need to remember that you are grandparents, not their parents, and as such should be a step removed from the process of raising them.  By keeping my children from me you are harming ME, your own daughter, more than you could possibly know.  If you don't have enough concern about making things right, and helping me instead of hurting me, then how can I feel good about you having my children, and trust you to care for them properly?  How can I think of you as anything other than kidnappers?

I don't remember a single thing you ever said or did to help me get my children back.  Instead you worked with the social workers against me.  You went to court to say how marvelous you were and that my children were only great and well-adjusted because you were in their lives, nothing ever about me being a good parent. So yes, you were a conspirator to kidnapping and destroying my family.

BUT NOW you have the ability to put things to rights, to help put my family together again.  Will you do it?  Or will you hide behind the "legality" of what you're doing?  Abortion is legal, but would you take your granddaughter to Planned Parenthood?  Homosexual marriage is acceptable and "legal" in many states, so would you attend one of their weddings?  Social Services isn't even constitutional, and has mutated from an organization designed to assist families that ASK for help into essentially a kidnapping organization that destroys millions of lives every year.  They make so much money feasting on families.  Satan is at work, using them to destroy what God designed as the foundation of civilization, The Family. The government of this country is not God-fearing, but is a god unto itself, and one which many people worship willingly. 

Joshua 24:14-15 "Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.  And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

You "feel good" being a martyr who "must" take care of all these children, and people admire you for it.  It's perfectly acceptable by society these days to be in your position, but is that what God wants? Are you getting to live the way you should at this stage of your life?  No, you aren't.

The question I have asked repeatedly these past years and have yet to receive an answer to is this: How can you justify your attitude and actions with Scripture?  Can you show me that God is actually pleased with what you have done and are still doing today?

You ask if there's anything we need, and honestly I feel offended and hurt at that question.  This is what I need: MY family!  

So I ask you again: will you do what is right?  Will you return my children (all of them!) to me, and do whatever is necessary to protect my family from those who would destroy us?  Or will you continue to participate in our destruction?  Please help us.

(no reply)

January 25, 2014

Some more thoughts.

You probably don't know this, but the first time Mark talked to his ex
on the phone a year after she left him, she was on the verge of
returning the four younger children to him.  So why didn't she?
Because she was worried about what the judge and her friends would
think of her.  She wasn't concerned for their safety or welfare,
because she knew Mark wasn't dangerous!  She was more worried about
maintaining her image of being a victim and continuing to spread the
stories (lies), than to let the truth be known and have people look
down on her.

She also didn't have a problem with me (someone she had never met)
"supervising" visits, and then with the kids being with Mark for
weekends and even going out of state.  Why not?  Because she knew he
didn't pose a threat to anyone, that he is an honorable man.

You know what Matt is doing to Wendy and their girls.  That is what
Dixie/Symphony did to Mark and their children.  Making up stories to
put themselves in a good light with everyone while making the other
parent look evil.  I will never understand how anyone can do that to
their own children!  Children need to have both parents and be able to
love both parents, not be forced to take sides.

Dixie didn't WANT her children.  She tried to talk him into adopting
them out so she wouldn't have to care for them.  She wanted Mark to
buy or rent her a separate place to live so she could have "me" time
and work on her music (she was never a serious musician).  She talked
about committing suicide, and spoke in detail about how she was going
to do it.  And these aren't just Mark's stories, we heard from a lady
who knew Dixie before she left, and she told us even more bizarre
things that Dixie was saying to other people.

But she couldn't just leave Mark, because that would make her look
bad, so she had to wait until she had the right story to tell, and
having the kids ensured she would get plenty of welfare, too.

When we were living in Rainier, Adam was about to come home to us, we
just had to do a "home study" first.  Well, that was when we finally
had to give the social workers an address for where we were living,
and that's how they knew where to find me to steal Caleb.  (And thanks
to your email to Njoroge they had "confirmation" that there was a baby
they could take!)  Washington knew Mark wasn't dangerous, and were
going to return Adam to us, and/or return all the children to me alone
at that time.  But Oregon used the excuse that "they have children in
out-of-home care" to attempt to justify taking my baby, and then
Washington turned around and said, "well Oregon took their baby so we
can't return the other children to them."  It was all a twisted circle
of illogical reasoning, only meant to keep my children away from me,
and ensure that they kept receiving federal $$ for having them in
their "care".  Never an allegation of abuse or neglect or inability to
provide basic care.  Our rights, and those of our children, were
violated repeatedly by people who profit from tearing apart families.
They didn't know what was wrong with us (because there wasn't anything
wrong) and so they didn't know what "services" we needed (we didn't
need any).  We were allegedly "clients" of Njoroge, and yet we never
asked the state for help!  And if we really were her clients, then why
was she taking us to court to steal our children?

Is any of this anything you ever even considered?  Didn't the way
things were going bother you?  You never offered us sympathy or
support, so I can only surmise that you really thought it was all fair
and just.

(still no reply)

February 17, 2014

It's been 4 weeks, and I haven't heard a word from you.  I know you're busy with Grandad, and that's what you should be focusing on.  But you have MY children as well, when they should be with ME.

You do realize that Adam has another set of grandparents, right?  And another uncle, and a cousin.  It's appalling to me that you do nothing to allow Adam to have a relationship with his family.

When are you going to give my children back to me? When can I come get them?

(reply from my mother)

February 21, 2014

Yes...very busy...don't get to computer often, but mostly I am writing down how I can tell you how things looked from our point of view...never got to tell you that and you never told us what you said in the last email.  His other grandparents are welcome to see, phone, or email us.  I was under the impression that they don't want anything to do with all of this.  I believe they still have my address.  Talk to you soon.

February 21, 2014

"and you never told us what you said in the last email." I guess I thought we'd told you some of that stuff about Dixie, but there were a lot of things that just never got discussed.  And then when we didn't have my children either, there just wasn't an inviting atmosphere for discussion.

"His other grandparents are welcome to see, phone, or email us.  I was under the impression that they don't want anything to do with all of this.  I believe they still have my address."  I'm not sure why you think they want nothing to do with their grandson, as well as the other children.  Did Bryan tell you they sent him a wedding gift (after I told her the news)?  Mark's dad is difficult in many ways, and he doesn't want to get involved in the court battles, and therefore doesn't allow Carol, Mark's mom, to do anything either.  It's unfortunate, because it could have made a big difference w/ their other grandchildren.  Carol has attempted to keep in touch with Mark's children, but she wasn't allowed to talk to them if she called, and any mail she sent was returned.  I imagine she is tired of reaching out only to be rebuffed.  It would go a long way towards her happiness if you could send a letter (she doesn't do email), photos, and maybe make a phone call and try to get Adam and the others to talk to her.  (For that matter, it would have made a huge difference if you had done the same for ME!)  You should still have her address.  Also, you've moved at least once since she had mailing information for you.

At this point in time, what matters most is doing what is right, which is reuniting my family.  You can share " how things looked from our point of view.." if you want, it might help clarify some things for me, but it is the past.  Regardless, you knew my children were not abused or neglected, and had more than they needed and were well-loved, and yet you worked against me when I needed your support the most.

I await your reply, but even more than that I await the return of my children.

(reply from my father)

February 23, 2014

Adam also has lots of aunts and uncles and cousins in North Carolina and we haven't taken him to meet them yet either.

And to answer the questions "when are you going to give my children back to me?", and "when can I come get them?": It is not going to happen.
I am so sorry about all this, but it is what it is.

Southern Style Collards

I am not a true Southern Girl when it comes to eating.  Yes, I love fried catfish, but can't stand hush puppies, grits, or collard greens.  My Daddy was born and raised in North Carolina, and my Mommy spent the last part of her childhood there as well, so I was definitely exposed to Southern food, even though I grew up in the Pacific Northwest.  I was probably an embarrassment when we headed to the southeast for family vacations and I wouldn't eat everything.

Greens are very good for you, full of all sorts of vitamins, but there are definitely right and wrong ways to prepare them, IMO.  My favorite cooked greens have always been Swiss Chard.  Yes, even more than spinach.  As I've gotten older, and especially as I started cooking for myself, and then even more as I started growing my own greens, I've learned to enjoy beet greens, turnip greens, and even radish greens (they make a nice addition to hot & sour soup)!  Mustard greens are okay, but they have a very strong flavor, much like collards.  I think one of my issues with collards is they're so thick and tough, rather than tender.

One thing I learned a few years ago, when I first started learning about herbal extracts and tinctures, was that vinegar extracts the minerals from the plants, which then makes the minerals accessible and usable by the body.  I think the word nowadays is "bio-available".  I don't know if the old-timers understood that or not, but putting vinegar on the greens is a southern thing.  At least that's how I was raised.  As kids, the vinegar was used to make the greens palatable enough to gag down.  We usually had "hot" vinegar, but I have no idea what kind of peppers were used to make it hot.

I have pretty much avoided collards for many years, but my husband brought home a package of collards recently, already cut and cleaned.  I think he picked them up mistakenly, thinking he was grabbing lettuce.  I ignored them for as long as was decently possible, but decided I needed to tackle them before they were ready for the compost bin.  The package had a recipe and I had all the ingredients on hand, so it was a go.  While collards will likely never be my favorite green, this was definitely the best collard dish I've ever eaten!  I served the greens drained on a plate with cheesy garlic bread, and then put the "pot likker" in a mug to drink.  I did not take any photos.  Perhaps I'll get one when we eat the leftovers.

Southern Style Cut 'n Clean Greens Country Mix

• 2 Tbl olive or vegetable oil
• 2 onions, diced
• 2 garlic cloves, chopped (pretty sure I used way more)
• 2 smoked ham hocks, split if possible (I only had one ham bone)
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 quarts chicken broth (I had just finished making some)
• 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar (I didn't have this, so I substituted another flavored vinegar)
• 1 Tbl sugar (this was the only ingredient I didn't have)
• 1/2-1 tsp red pepper flakes (I just put a dash of ground cayenne in, didn't want it too hot)
• 1 bag (12 oz) collards

Heat oil in a large stockpot.  Add onions and saute over low-medium heat until brown and caramelized, 25 or so minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add garlic during the last minute or cooking so it won't burn.

Add ham hocks, bay leaves, chicken broth, both vinegars, sugar and pepper flakes to the stockpot.  Bring to a boil, add greens and stir to submerge.  When the mixture returns to a boil, reduce heat, cover pot and boil gently for about 1 hour.  Remove bay leaves.  If you like, remove ham hocks from pot, cool them enough to handle them and then strip meat from hocks and add meat chunks back into the greens.

Meant To Be

I came to a blog today via Pinterest, because it was about living in an RV full-time. We've talked about doing that ourselves, so I'm always interested in reading how others manage to live with less space and less stuff. The blog writer mentioned in a couple of the posts that they had adopted a baby. I told myself, “don't click on the link, don't read it, it will only get you upset.” Do I listen to my own advice? Not nearly often enough, it would seem. I did walk away for a while, but returned and read their adoption story.

It was pretty much what I expected, overall. They acquired a newborn through the foster care system and cared for him for several months. The baby had a lot of health issues, and they tackled them all, going to many doctors and discussing everything with the social workers as it happened. Before the baby was a year old he was “ready” to be put up for adoption. Long story short, they got him.

The blogger didn't tell the story behind the story: why was the baby taken from his parents? Perhaps she didn't know, or didn't feel it was relevant to her story. I would venture to guess that whatever she and her husband were told by the social worker was not the truth, or at least not the whole truth. Why would I think that? Because I know first-hand that social workers in the state “child protection system” LIE. ALL THE TIME. 

The worst part were all the comments. All happy gushy sentiment that were both painful (to me) and ignorant. “Oh, I'm so happy for you! It's so obvious you were meant to be his parents!” Almost all were like that. 

Excuse me, but, “you were meant to be his parents”...Seriously? In what universe do you live?? The only people MEANT TO BE a child's parents are the PEOPLE WHO GAVE HIM LIFE! The woman who carried that baby in her womb, who labored to give birth, SHE is the one who was meant to be his mother! The man whose seed fertilized that egg and gave it life, who passed on his genes, HE is the one meant to be his father!

I previously wrote a bit about myLittle Guy. Because he was taken away from me and eventually adopted by a foster family, does that mean that I wasn't “meant to be” his mother? His older brother was also adopted, not by strangers but his grandparents. Does the fact that his birth certificate now shows their names as his parents make it true? Does that mean that he was never “meant” to be raised by his true parents? NO.

Yes, there are children who are unwanted, unloved, abused, and neglected. But it is far more rare than the state (actually federal) foster care system would like you to believe. My children were very much wanted, loved unconditionally, treasured for the gifts they were, well-provided-for and even somewhat spoiled. This is far more often the case than the foster care system would like you to believe.

Does this mean that I think adoptive parents can't love or raise a child? No. It does mean they were not MEANT to do it. And anyone who says otherwise is intentionally delusional. Just because you were chosen by some social worker panel and judge to get your name on a child's birth certificate does not make the whole scenario “meant to be.” It isn't a “God thing”, because God's design and intention is for children to be raised, trained, and taught by their REAL parents.

Nowhere in the Bible is there any suggestion that anyone else has the right to come between parents and their children. They alone are given the authority and responsibility for their child. If the parents want to give up their rights, then it's good that someone else is willing to step up and do the job, but I still believe that the parents will someday answer to God for that choice. However, if the parents did not want to give up their rights to their child, and instead it was stolen from them, then I believe that anyone who played a part in depriving that child of its parents will answer to God for their choice as well.

Adoption can be a wonderful thing, under the right circumstances. But the foster “care” system isn't it. Besides being unconstitutional it is immoral and illegal: it is kidnapping of a child, plain and simple.

In my opinion a child is ALWAYS better off with their parents.

I was meant to be a mother. My children were meant to live with me and their father. End of story.

My precious child, who was kidnapped, stolen from me, July 16, 2008.

 

My other precious son, Adam, who was stolen from me January 23, 2007, and then permanently in 2010.

Seven of my beautiful children, 2009.

Wordless Wednesday ~ June 12

Dear Aaron

This post is written as a letter to my son, but it's okay for others to read, too.

Dear Aaron,

I remember how much you hated wearing shoes as a child.  You were always barefooted, even whilst riding your Big Wheel at full-speed-ahead down the gravel driveway, and you weren't afraid of using your feet to stop you at the bottom.

Of all my children, you never flinched if I had to dig a splinter out of your foot, because you had tough feet.

I don't know how many pair of shoes your father had to buy for you because you got in the car to go somewhere with him...barefooted.

I, too, dislike wearing shoes.  I take them off every chance I get, and even prefer going outside for walks without them.  Obviously there are seasons and circumstances which demand footwear, and I have pared my foot wardrobe down to a pair of muck boots for mucky farm work, snow boots (although my muck boots are actually warmer), and water shoes for just about everything else.  Yeah, I would dig out something nicer-looking if I needed to, but those occasions are few and far between.

Just a few days ago I bought a pair of slip-on shoes at Goodwill, for those times when I need something a bit warmer than my water shoes.  We were preparing to go to a ball game with friends, and I decided to wear my new shoes, which were still in our car, so I went outside in my socks.  We busily set to work making sure we had coats and blankets packed for keeping us warm that night in the stands, and headed out.  In my friend's car.

After about a half hour of driving, as we were nearing the stadium, I suddenly realized that I never put on my shoes!  Yup, I was sitting there wearing just my socks.  It was embarrassing, but also pretty funny, and I laughed at myself.  I was willing to just go as I was, but my friend said no.  She dropped off the guys so they wouldn't miss the game and we went shopping.  Oh, and I had also left my wallet at home.  Yup, I really had it together that night!

Parking downtown in a major city isn't always that easy to find, so she dropped me off on a corner, handed me $40, and said she'd meet me at Payless shoes.  I headed into Ross first, but it was so chaotic I quickly decided to go straight to Payless.  My feet are pretty wide so I have a difficult time finding shoes that fit correctly, and I occasionally end up w/ men's shoes.  I was busy trying on shoes when my friend joined me.  There was a pair that I really liked that weren't very expensive, but they didn't fit right.  My friend suggested I try on her shoes, and she tried on the new ones.  Hers fit me, and the new ones fit her, so she bought herself a pair - hooray!  That was probably the quickest shoe shopping trip ever.

We made it back to the game, and I was able to give several other people a good laugh by sharing my story on the shuttle from the parking lot.  Yes, I agree, that's something that usually happens with children, but I'm pretty sure that was the first time I ever did it.  And you can bet that from now on I'll always be asked, before we leave, if I'm wearing shoes.

So, my son, it isn't just you :)

Love,
Mommy

Fortune Cookies

A couple weeks ago I was blessed by a new friend with dinner at a Chinese restaurant.  It was so good to sit and relax and have time to talk and get to know one another.  And then she blessed me by sending all the leftovers home with me, and there were a LOT because she ordered way more food than we could eat. And believe me, I ate a lot!

I didn't get around to eating the fortune cookies until a couple days later.

You will enjoy doing something different this coming weekend.

I got to meet another new friend!  She has also been a huge blessing to me.

This year your highest priority will be your family.

It usually is, and I expect it shall be for the rest of my life.

You shall attain great wisdom with each passing year.

I'd like to think so, but sometimes I do wonder.  I certainly get more grey (silver!) hair each year!

Your life will be prosperous if you use your creativity.

Hmmm.  I guess I need to think on that one some more, and see if I can make it true for me.

A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.

Boy ain't THAT the truth!  I try to remind myself not to worry, but something always seems to pop in unexpectedly when  things are going well, and then BAM!  Stress, worry, anxiety, tears, inability to do anything productive.  Blech.  Times like that make me wish for Jesus' return, though.